POLICE ENCOUNTERS!!!!!

In the last 3 years of being a engineering student cum a bakwaas gang member.i have experienced all that one would expect to experience when he is a highly notoriously famous gang member..including the cops!!!…we have had 3 memorable solid encounters with the Mumbai police..
All the 3 encounters had the following things common between them

1) all of them happened post mid night
2) all of them involved one constant member “my car”
3) all of them involved hyper active participartion of atleast one bakwaas gang member who almost screwed our case…( in 2 cases it was Baxi who voluntarily tries to help but unfortunately always simply screws the case…in the other one it was nishit “the gaavwala” who tried to be a jerk)

lets get going with the narration of our encounters

ENCOUNTER 1:

The gang members were all holed in at my place( we usually do that before going for big outing) the night before we were leaving for the “GREAT MATHERAN TRIP” .
We decided to have dinner post-dinner-time at a mohit-chande-priyank find restaurant called “THE LIGHT OF ASIA”..which has now become our regular 3 am dining spot at V.T.The restaurant apart from being open past decent dining hours is famous for its hugely delicious food,for its reasonability and for its complimentary ice creams.
So after having dinner,and fighting for the extra ice cream sticks(which ended with k.k picking up the stick fallen on the road)…we decided to go on a long ride to marine drive and chill out there.
There were 6 of us:
Priyank: driving seat
Mohit: girl friend seat
Yogesh and Susti:passenger seat
Anna and Baxi :back sit driving seat

Anna: chal bhagga Priyank….120 ke neeche nahi chahiye mereko….

His words sent a virtual nitro booster thrill to my accelerator…I pumped it.

Chande : yeah anna pagal ho gaya hai…Priyank tu sun mat…

Baxi: bhaari darinda….

Anna: Priyank accelerator pe khada ho jaaa……khaada hi ho jaa ab tu….

Chande:ye Priyank ..yeah anna aur baxi chaddha rahe hai …tu chad mat…
He was really scared..lolzzz

Mohit: Priyank tu chala…yeah chande ka sun mat..phattu hai…!!!

I wasn”t listening to anyone except anna…..his words still ringing “khada ho jaa accelerator pe”
Lolzzzzzz
I aspired to going beyond hundred……I looked at the speedometer..it was vibrating at 86..almost pleading “don’t test me..i aint a sports car..i am a family car…”
Family…BOOOONNNNG
Not told mom about taking the car out…
Dad had no idea his son is on a joy ride with friends…
One scratch…one single bump on the car…I will be dethroned off my drivers seat straight to my scooty seat..no ..not done…
Nitro booster vanish.. pumping vanish.. anna vanish….
The speed is now 60….
baxi ,anna ,mohit..not happy
chande happy…he will live to marry p*i*a
rishi not concerned….whatever comes easiest or first..

Baxi: sun yaar lets sit here…majja karenge…
Mohit: wahi yaar ..itne jaldi nahi nikal naa hai…
Baxi: haan..i know this one spot…
Mast hai..
It has a jetty and all…
You can see the entire Mumbai skyline from there…
Munnabhai ka shooting hua tha udhar…
Priyank:haan kya???
Baxi:yup..
Chande..chal chalte hai….
Susti:yawning..chalOO!!!


.
That’s baxizz word….its always final..and its decorated with tempting words,adjectives and adverbs…in the first half of our engineering career everyone trusted baxi for all great things…some people still do…but ask victims like susti…they’ll tell you…baxis CAT maths though good…his VODKA maths is all screwed up…susti trusted baxi for vodka maths..till recently when he uncovered the mystic way in which he always got drunk and baxi didn’t…
His secret formula was…
What susti thot….half vodka + half sprite = half vodka +half sprite
But what really was half vodka +half sprite = full vodka +one spoonful sprite..
Lolzzzzzzz


Anyway..back to our story…
We got down at the far end of marine drive……where marine drive ends…hoped out of the car…and on to the pavement…
There was a couple sitting there talking…
Baxi passed by them…
We passed by them..
We were all following baxi on the dandi march to this mysteriously awesome jetty….
I still don’t know why we were so excited to get to the jetty..as if mallika was doing a nude dance there…

Suddenly we heard a loud…
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH of tyres…
We looked back..everyone except baxi….who was stuck on his goal to get salt of this dandi march…
A group of men jumped out..and drove away the couple sitting there..
They looked at us and one of them called out
”IDHAR AAO”

Priyank: baxi..yaar shayad who hum logon ko bulaa rahe hai…
Baxi: apna baap hai kya bulaane ko….

Mohit.:.shayad baap hi hai dost…police…

POLICE!!the word kinda sends a signal to the spinal cord and shivers it a little..no matter yu have done wrong or rite….

But we were bakwaas gang members…all of us were oozing with over confidence and a virtually magnified ego…

LEKIN…ANDAR SE…. PHATI THI SABKI

“ITKYA RAATRI KAY PHIRTAAY”

Marathi…I was relieved..i am so proud of my mother tongue…especially in Mumbai…it bails me out of almost everything…my teachers,the traffic police and more importantly the T.C.

I started..” kahi nahi sir…asech phirat hoto…just dinner karoon aalo..”

“ITKYAA RAATRI….WHAT ARE YU GUYS DOING OUT SO LATE”???

Mohit: sir we are engineering students….just done with our exams..we are going to matheran tomorrow morning..so staying at his place”

I guess the ENGINEERING word had a effect on the cop….he seemed kinda relieved…
I suppose that’s the only thing that’s happened worthwhile in engineering..we have got a B.E tag…tag to prove decent and nerdy…
Cop”ok,ok…where are you from…”

DADAR
CHEMBUR
GHATKOPAR
ANDHERI
KANDIVLI..

We screwed it our selves….we were sounding like terrorists come from all parts of Mumbai to plan a major bomb planting session in here…

Baxi” sir AAMHI actually ASHHECH IKDEE…”

Baxi hug raha tha…luckily mohit stopped him on time…

MOHIT: sir we study at somaiya college vidyavihar..aani udya matheran la chalalo aahot..mhanoon aamhi hyaachyaa ghari thamblo..”

Cop(now fed up)” ok alright gimme your addresses….”
WOW..adresses…
What the fuck are these guys gonna do???cum up to our place in the morning and tell my mom…shit..i will be so dead…
I wanted to bluff the address badly..but thought its too much complicated right now so ill just give him the rite stuff he needs…I just wanted to get out of this place..fast..

I blurted out the address..
He asked mohit then..”mohit told him”
Meanwhile I was chatting with the other cop

Where are you staying in matheran
“not decided yet sir…well go there and then book”
Thers a good place called mayor resort..”
Ahh ok…

The other guy was done taking the addresses…he called out to this cop….

ACCHA..LISTEN…..GO HOME NOW…DON’T ROAM ABOUT AT NIGHT…
YOU NEVER KNOW WHICH GANG MAY TURN UP AND EVEN BEAT UP YOU GUYS…FOR MONEY OR WHATEVER…THERE ARE DRUNK MOBS OUT THERE…

Alrite sir we’ll get going immediately…

I jumped into the car…and accelerated at 60…anna didn’t say anything…
We were finally out….(we had thought we would end up in jail)

Baxi:”Saala accha hua VODKA ka bottle nahi laaya”

I was relieved…..he did something RIGHT that night…lolzzzzzz
WE HAVENT SEEN THE JETTY TILL DATE!!!

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ENCOUNTER 2:
This is a short stint which happened at marine drive..

On one of our late night drives….we were strolling on the drive after the dinner at light of asia….
There was a whole caravan with us
My car…driven by Mr nishit gogri….who had left his glasses at home…..and cudnt see the man sleeping on the road…(my license was lost)
Mohits bike
Chandes bike
…
We parked our entire troup on the corner of pavement…and went on and sat on the bunk facing the sea…..
(FAR FAR AWAY FROM THE JETTY WHERE MUNNABHAI WAS SHOT )

Just then..the police car passed by…
POLICE AGAIN…
Priyank: yaar…yeh police 100% uthayega apne ko idhar se…

The police van stopped..
A officer stepped OUT.....

Wat yu doing out …..whose car is this????

I said “sir mine”

Whoss driving
NISHIT” sir me”

Why??
Priyank:”Sir I don’t have license”

You have car papers??
Priyank”yes sir”

You have license??
Nishit “ yes sir..BUT MERA LICENSE THANE KA HAI”




Now why did this guy had to blurt out the last sentence…he could have just shown the license and finished the stuff…
But no he has to say..what he wants to say….
Like in his presentation…
“we are working for a company WHICH IS A B.S.E LISTED COMPANY”
Galat time pe galat cheez bakega yeh banda….

Anyway..back to our story….
The cop didn’t get wat he was saying…
I came to his rescue as usual..(not out of saviority…it was my car at stake)
Priyank”Nothing sir….he has license…”
Nishit”yes yess..i have it”

Cop:gud..get along…stop sitting out here…

NISHIT AND HIS THANE WOULD HAVE SCREWED OUR STUFF…
But lets not talk bad about him…the dudes got jaundice right now….he may die anyday…lolzz..jokin gogri…take care man!!!
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ENCOUNTER 3:
Something which I forgot to mention in my earlier “phoonk” blog…..

We were at the ruia katta…after our disastrous 22nd of august…..

After the stench was gone….a police car came by (possibly attracted by the smell)

We were standing in front of the building…near the katta…there was a pav bhaji cart right next to where we were standing..
It was past 12…and the stall was closing down…

The police shouted “GAADI KISKA HAI”

Now baxi has the habit of getting his wrong foot stuck at the wrong place….
He thought the police was asking about our car which was parked near by…
But in reality the police was addressing the pav bhaji cart…..

Baxi :”hamara hai”

Baap…baxi became the owner of my car and the pav bhaji cart at the same time….


Luckily..the misunderstanding got sorted out in a jiffy….and nothing more miserable happened further that night…
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That’s so much for our encounters….i guess we still have around a year before we get out of our college…
But these memories will always stay by us…..cherish them all life long…
Who knows there may be more encounters waiting for us in the following year…
As long as OUR GANG IS AROUND
But yaa for most of this adventures thanks to baxi…
Dude you have made engineering memorable for us…..will live with these experiences forever…..thanks baxi…seriously dude…thank you soo muccccccchhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

KAAM@ -SU- TeRA????...a post about YOGESH'S KAAM!!!

“Chal yaar Priyank..ill leave..”Yogesh said
It was my third semester in k.j somaiya college of engineering. when we had just finished our 3.30pm lecture. I and yogesh were pretty good friends by then…the bakwaas gang was just beginning to form..

“Wait yaar ..itnaa jaldi jaake kya karega..”I said…

“arre yaar kaam hai”…

“kya kaam hai??”

“arre yaar bata nahi sakta”

“accha chod….see yaa tomorrow then..”

I let him go….

But a “dhulla??” shouted in my mind…”what the hell is kaam”

Its been 3 years now..
HE STILL LEAVES EVERY EVENING GIVING THE SAME SHIT" YAAR KAAM HAI"
i ..nor any of the bakwaas gang member knows what exactly this KAAM of his is…

It was curiosity first..
“what can it be…??”

It became frustration later…
“What the hell is it…??”

Its become a teaser now
“ yogesh you coming with us..or you have KAAM??”…lolzzzzz

All the bakwaas gang members are pretty aware of yogesh,s KAAAM crap…

We all have had our share of assumptions of what exactly his kaam could be..

We know three things for sure:

1) his Kaam takes place in the evening
Reasons:
a) he leaves early every evening .
b) his phone is unavailable all the 2 hrs from 6.30 to 8.30.
c) whenever you are lucky enough to get through he’ll say”yaar bahar hoon..ill talk to you later”


2) his Kaam pays him a lot
Reasons:
a) he pays all his college fees himself
b) he is never short of money
c) who can afford a girlfriend these days???

3) his Kaam is something either too embarrassing or too sophisticated
Reasons:
1)if it was not..he would have told us about it till now.
2)whenever he gets a call ( supposedly from a high authority) he moves away and converts his accent and says..”ya..yaa.ok..ya”
3) he said he hasn’t told ANYONE not even to THE “ONE” WHO HE IS SUPPOSED TO TELL EVERYTHING.


I asked him once ”yaar yogesh…why don’t you tell us what your KAAM is?”
Yogesh” I am too superstitious..i suppose something bad will happen if I tell people what this kaam is”

As if any of the bakwaas gang member will believe that…
Seriously…

Its not that we still haven’t guessed what his KAAM can be…
Here are some conclusion that bakwaas gang members thought could be yogesh’s KAAM

CONCLUSION 1:
Yogesh may be a high profile PIMP..who operates call- girls at around evening time. That job supposedly pays him a lot .

CONCLUSION 2:
Yogesh may be a software developer of a big software firm and trades in dollars

CONCLUSION 3:
May be all this is bullshit and Yogesh probably studies like a nerd from 6.30 to 8.30 ..and likes to keep it under wraps..

CONCLUSION 4:
Yogesh is trying to make himself famous by spreading crap like ”kaam” around..so that we might may pay him to make him vomit out the secret..

CONCLUSION 5:
He spends time around with p*i*a.

CONCLUSION 6:
The Kaam would be too tempting and full of rich benefits.he doesn’t want to share it cause he is insecure we might steal it and become better earners then him.

But I know…all of these assumptions are 100% wrong…cause we have kinda kept a voluntary watch on him…
He doesn’t know many girls to be a pimp…
He sucks as software developer even in college project…
He doesn’t get great percentages..though he scores better than most of us..
He is already famous enough
He spends a hell lot of time with his girl in the college hours….
He knows how hard we try we can never be as good as earners as him….


So I guess we’ll never ever..atleast in this life time will get to know what his KAAM is….the secret of his KAAM will go to the grave with him….
CHANDE’S soul will rest in peace
But the rest of the bakwaas gang,’s spirits…will still be wondering..

“SAALA ISKAA KAAM KYA HAI”


p.s: 1)congrats anna for his fabulous 1450..way to go dude..
2)GANPATI BAPPA MORYA!!!!

Good ebooks!!!

Guys..these are some great books from my ebook collection..
includes all my favourites...
check them out..
you can download and read them...and even add your books to the collection...
the link for the ebooks is given below..

http://drop.io/priyank

ps: Last night was awesome...!!!
i hope bhaggu disposed off the stuf at the right place...lolzz!!!
thanks anurag for all yur help
my place is now office by day and lounge by night..hehehe

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GOD WARNS YOU AND YOU DISOBEY!!!!

i guess with the cross even rgv suggested never to watch the movie!!!!
"he he he he he" : thats God laffing at us on 22nd august

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA":THATS God laffing at us on 25th august


this is all i got to say ..just back after watching PHOONK!!!
fuck phoonk
fuck Ram gopal verma
fuck cinemax for selling the goddamn ticket for 140 bucks..i would ave rather enjoyed lunched at peninsula!!!
fuck mohit and baxi for making us go for the movie!!!
fuck the mumbai mirror for giving a 2 star rating to it...what the hell were you guys thinking man!!!

why am i so irritated...lemme give you the reasons!!!

1)the terrible sound effects...

2)the dumb girl trying to create a scare by her "MARDAANAA" awazz!!!

3)the old lady with a vibrator stuffed in her ass and saying " YEH KAALA JAAADU HAI....."

4)the put-anywhere-its-left-over songs!!!

5)ruining the expectation of driver making out with the house maid

6)the crow which never CROWS!!!

7)with rgv bringing his same old tried and tested actors making them work for 3RS per day!!!

the doomed ticket.....the only memory how wat worst can happen to a decEnt MAN!!!


RGV is giving 5 lakhs to anyone ready to sit for the entire movie alone....

GUYS GO FOR IT!!!!!
I WISH I WUD HAVE SAT FOR THE MOVIE ALONE INSTEAD OF ACCENTURE PLACEMENT INTERVIEW...

3 LAKHS FOR A YEAR......5 LAKHS FOR 3 HRS....anyday boy..anyday....

fuck me!!!!

OUR "PHOONK(FUCK)IN" DAY

THIS PART OF MY LIFE IS CALLED “ BEING A TOTAL JACKASS”


There are days in your life which you want to permanently “shift+delete “ from your memory and leave no trace of them even in your brains’s recycle bin. But when something so Idiotically tragic happens where in you feel that god wants that day of your life to be a perfect lesson for hurting your ego, wasting all your limited resources, make you do things you never would have imagined you would do and screw your ass as if you were some horrific criminal rapist being sentenced a death penalty…….its just too hard to erase that one what-the –hell-did-i-do day in your life. Nowhere in the world would so many things have happened to anyone in a single day(and I wish they never do) who puts in all his life’s dedication ,hardwork,money,time and effort and still fuck up his day .the only one important thing I learned from this day is” When you are outlucked ,even God cant save you from getting fucked!!!!”

Let me now tell you what happned to a bunch of loser guys like us who set their heart on watching a ram gopal verma movie “phoonk”on the first day of its release.

Plot: watch “phoonk”

Participants
Priyank,baxi,k.k,dhulla,mohit,rishi,chande

Date 22 august 2008

Locations
Library,parking lot,cinemax,gurukrupa hotel sion,five gardens,food arcade,priyanks home,pritam da dhaba,imax wadala,ruia college,priyanks office.

Mode of transport
Train,bike,rickshaw,taxi,car,by foot


I was woken up on the morn of 22nd by the buzz of my ohh-so-precious nokia 1100.the iphone had been launched at midnight and I was having wild dreams of owning one particular16gb one and flaunting it off ….i was absolutely unaware of wat god had in store for me which wud have been unimaginable even in my wildest dream.
I got on with readying up for college and had a vision of having a totally normal day there.ohh I was so wrong!!!
I reached vidyavihar platform and to my horrors the tc caught me…(I usually travel ticketless).its not that I don’t recognize a tc when I see one..but this day there were just too many of them on the platform and it was really tuff for a guy with personality like me to go unnoticed….the inner voice said”yu are so screwed up now dude”.but I had gotten in similar situations before..and got out off it clean and dry.but this time I didn’t even have a expired pass to show to the tc..i had to do something…something fast!!
“show me your ticket”…I started the acting trick of searching for the ticket in my pocket and wallet…I checked my wallet…It had some old traintickets,bus pass and all kachra things stuffed up..i had a sudden idea..i removed the old tickets and said”sir I think I got the ticket mixed up with the old ones…it was somewhere here for sure” and handed the old tickets over to him…and wat luck..i had a old 22’07/2008 ticket…the tc I guess was already assured of the aunthenticity of the ticket without checking the date(probably by the innocentguy look on my face) and handed it over to me and said “here it is boy,you can go now” I was amazed at my luck and kept thankin god for this save all the way to the college

This was probably the last time in the day when I thanked god…and for luck …I had used it up completely!!!!!!

At the college..the gang met up in the library as usual.This is where it all began.i wish I had bunked college that day!!!!

Mohit ” chal yaar movie jaate hai”
Baxi ”haan re…wat bout phoonk”
Kunj ” nahi yaar huga hua movie hoga yaar”
Priyank “ nahi yaar,mast rahega..kya susti gaggar”
Rishi “ chalo”
Kk “ kya wastelog hai apun..college library mein baithne aate hai kya yaar”
Dhulla “ aye doggy…bhaunkna band karega?? Phoonk dekhne hi jaate hi…lets take bhaggu with us majja aayega”
Baxi”wohh ghanta aayega….toelf hai uska…”
Priyank” anna and shawn waise bhi nahi aayega”
Mohit “haan…chal phir nikalte hai”

This is usually how our plans materialize…no preplanning…no thought…when it pops up it just has to take place..come what may..

We had to take our cat letters from college..i baxi and kunj..went to the office…while rishi,kk,dhulla and mohit went on to the parking lot where mohits bike was parked.

The bike winning contest:
jasti ki majority
people who had their hand turned in the same way as mohit wud reach the semi finals....
rishi and kk reached the semi finals..
in the semis...rishi won....
and he had the honour and privildge to get on mohits "much-better-than-hayabusa" honda unicorn
but after this as we noe kk was lik " e susti plz mughe jane de na.... tu hamesha jata hai plz.... plz.. "
susti didnt show any sympathy and got the prized ride on mohits bike!!!
Mohit and rishi hopped on the bike and went off to imax wadala…in the mean time kk called up chande to ask if he was cuming and to chck where the movie is playing…chande said imax has the movie at 11.15pm…but cinemax is playing at 3.45pm and 8.45 pm.kk called up rishi and mohit who were already half way to imax.

In the mean time I ,baxi and kunj reached the parking spot…
Kunj was at refusal as usual…uska bhaav khaane ka aadat kab jayega????
Anyway when he got to hear that the movie was no where near by…he dropped out of plan…no amount of convincing wud undo his unwillingness to get in..
So we had to leave him out..he left for home.

By that time mohit and rishi came back…we checked out the time it was 11.30am..
So we had atleast 4 hrs before the next show at cinemax .
Priyank” char ghanta kya karnaa hai yaar??”
Baxi “chal acres jaate hain”
Priyank” nahi yaar”
Baxi”what about mcdzz”
Dhulla”kya karega udhar??”
baxi”chalnaa..baat kaega”
kk”baat..barabar baat karega…..saale apun 6 se 11 baat hi kar raha tha..sab cheejo pe baat karliya…hugu public..kitnaa baat karega…apne gf se jitnaa baat nahi karega..utna tum logon se ek din mein baat kiya hoga…. Poora life baat hi kiya hoga…college aake library mein baithke sirf tp hi karta hai apun log…. aur yeh ch*t*ye ko aur baat karneka hai..”
he was damn irritated….he was dead against wasting 4 hrs talking and that too for a ram gopal verma film..
Priyank” chal yaar kk”
Rishi” haan re chal”
Kk” abhi kya akela baithega kelkar..chalo..cinemax jaake ticket nikalega..phir jayega Priyank ke ghar”
Priyank..”lets go then”
Mohit and baxi…left on bike
Kk and rishi in rick
And I and dhulla..cudnt get any rick..so we decided to go by train..
Dhulla was dead against going ticketless..
I gave in..cause I wud ave to face a whole lot of questions if I wanted to go ticket less..lolzzzzz
So I and dhulla…got the train tickets and got into the train..

All of us met up at cinemax…
3.45 show house full…
Wat luck man!!!
Wat the fuck…
I called up a friend of mine..to see if any theatre at dadar was playing phoonk…but there wernt any..
Baxi bought the news paper…we checked out again..but still a big NO….

Mohit “suno abhi ek kaam karte hain…11.15 ka phoonk dekhte hain imax..dinner bahar lete hain and phir Priyank ke ghar night out”
Priyank “ mera class hai yaar”
Baxi” arre g**d mara..it doesn’t suit yu”
Priyank” accha chhod”
Kk” chalo done”
Ridhi” ghar pe bolega baxi ke ghar project karne jaa raha hoon”
Baxi” haan..i will say goin to yur place…if I say goin to priyanks place..they are sure gonna doubt it man”
Kk” main jhoot bol bol ke thak gaya hoon yaar..i am gonna tell them I am goin to priyanks place man..akkhaa life jhooth bol bolke thak gaya hai yaar”
Mohit”ill tell my bro to tele book the tickets for us then..”
He called up..and his bro did the booking…”guys we have to reach there an hour in advance man”
Baxi” haan pahuch jayega”
Hehehehehe(how he was gonna repent his statement..he had no idea)

Dhulla” ab kya karnaa hai??”
Rishi”gurukrupa jaate hai”
Priyank”yaa its near by”
Baxi” haan waise bhi bhook lag raha hai”
Kk” kya bhukkad log hai….khaata hi rehta hai saala”
Mohit”chalo yaar…jaate hain..and haan..agar 10.15 pm ko nahi pahuchaa toh bhaari hug dega ..pehle hi bol raha hoon”
Baxi” arre well get there re..dun worry”

Then we guys went off to gurukrupa …a hotel at sion…we had samosa chole and pani puri there..

It was 1.30 by then…
Baxi” chal darinda…five gardens jaate hain”
Priyank”chalo…udhar kisi garden mein tp karlete hain..we cant go home right now…office is closed..well go home by around 6”
Rishi”k..done”
Mohit” I and gaggu will go by bike..yu guys leave by cab…”
Kk”chalega”

I baxi,dhulla and kk got into a cab and went to 5 gardens..
Kk”kuch khelte hain yaar..”
Baxi “yeh and mohit…saala aakkha life khelta hi rahega”
Kk called up mohit and asked him to get a ball if he cud
Obviously mohit didn’t get it
We searched for a garden and sat there on the lawn….


I lay on the lawn…enjoying the greenery....the couple on the other side of the garden were kissing….good timepass..
I thought about how much we had gone through the entire day just to watch a movie…I recalled baxizz words…”itnaa mehnat studies mein dale..toh ab tak 70+ aa jaata tha”
Naa…I cudnt put so much efforts into it…
I was kinda sleepy…the trees were swaying…the birds chirping..everything so calm,serene,quite……
The breeze I cud feel was making we even more drowsy…the scent of the soil was soo soothing…..
BUT WAIT…WAT WAS THAT WEIRD SMELLLL!!!!!!
Mohit ” kaun chhoda…..”
Kk” haan re….saala ganda strong hai”
Dhulla” I aint smellin nothing”
Priyank”haan re..yuckk..i am gonna vomit…getting away from here guys”
Mohit”itnaa strong hai….garden itnaa bad hai lekin spread hoke bhi intensity kam nahi hua”
Sustis..nostrils were too lazy to even pick up the smell….”haan thoda thoda aa raha hai”
Baxi” sheeee yaaaar….”””

After around a minute..thankfully..it was gone…

I was feeling lazy..but there wasn’t nething to do..i picked up two sticks of dead wood lying around…and started rubbing them together..to make fire..
Rishi”saale yeh garden jala dega tu”
Baxi”Priyank yaar…tu saale darsheel hi hai”
Dhulla”tu idhar kya aagaya engineering mein maraane ko??”
Kk”iim hi jaa tu…:”
Priyank”iim main aag lagane dete hain kya”
Lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Mohit”yeh kya aawaz hain re”
Priyank”abbe bats ka hai”
Baxi” arre bats ko aankhen hoti hain kya…coz I know they use ultra sound to fly..and they are blind”
Rishi”haan aankhen toh hoti hai”
Kk”toh who log apne ko ch*t*ya banane ko rahengii….dekho mereko aankhen hai..lekin kamine andhe hi rahenge”
Dhulla’itnaa kya aawaj kar rahe hain yaar..hug diya who log ne…raat ko bhi nahi sote…subah ko bhi nahi sote…ch*t*ya log”
Mohit”arre watch all of them are just moving their one wing man….”
Kk”competition rahega”
Mohit”who dekh..kk and dhulla ulta latak rahe hain jhaad pe…dhulla is saying..hugga naaa….hawa bhi nahi aa raha hain.huggu wing hai tera.”
Kk”y aren’t the bats sleeping man”
Mohit ”a bat must be saying to the other…”kyun nahi so raha tu”…….the other bat says”main kyun souu…tu pehle so…hehehehehe””

Hehehehehehehehehe…
Just then..a kulfiwala passed by…..”chal dhulla pre treat ho jaye”….
Dhulla””arre ghanta”
Priyank”baxi bula yaar usko”
Baxi screamed”aye …KULLLLLLLLL( hoarse ruff manly voice)…FIIIIIIIIIIII(in a womanly baby scream)
It was amusing..baxi hug diya…the kulfi wala ignored us completely…

we lay down for 10minutes more like we were the last people on earth..
kk ”yaar I think I am turning gay…its almost like 7 hrs since we guys are together
and I think I have spent half of my life hours with yu guys..lolzzzzzz”

…it was 3.45 then….
Dhulla “I am humgry..is there any gud place to eat??”
Priyank”yaa there is food arcade nearby”
Chal then..jaate hain…
kk:arre bhukkad public!!!
Mohit and baxi on bike..we guys on foot
While passing by us..baxi grabbed sustiss shirt,,susti pulled him back…
TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
We thot baxis shirt was torn…luckily It wasn’t….
We reached food arcade..
Dhulla had ragda pattice..we had amul cool chocolate..

Priyank”chalo ghar jaate hain”
kk..”haan…rakhad rakhad ke thak gaya hain”

we grabbed a cab…and came home…kk left his mobile with us..i rishi and baxi…sent his frend a “missing you” mesaage!!!(that’s one hell disadvantage if yu leave yur cell unattended in any bakwaas gang members hand”

came to my place…got into the lift…and there it was agin..”THE SMELL” ..
mohit"kaun chhodaa"...we survived it some how!!!

My mom was goin out out..i had to tell mom..we had come home to fill CAT forms…
She had coffe and snacks ready for us..i goofed up and said we were 5 ppl..when actually we were 6…
So kk was left out..and he didn’t get any coffee..lolzz…its anyway not for dogs lolzzz
There were biscuits left though…

We just chcked on the net if results were out…coz that day the probability of the results being out was maximum….thankgod they weren’t….

Mohit and kk..blackmailed me into getting cards..
I had to get them…..
We played teen patti..after like a life time…
Baxi lost the maximum
Rishi won the maximum
I ,mohit and kk lost and won..negligible sum…
Dhulla was reading sex stories on my comp!!!

Then we came up with a indegenious tennis game
No.of players in one team:2
Materials used” paper ball,my room bed”
Rackets” players sleeping on the bed:use their feet as rackets”
Players standing on the floor :use hands as rackets”
Umpire: rishi(kinda biased)
Rules…:ball missed..point gain by opp team..
Ball thrown on kk(who was chattin to the girl we smsed to)
Not counted
Beating the umpire to influence descision -5 points
Number of sets variable

I and mohit were partners….and baxi and dhulla were the other team
Best of 3 sets : we lost
We didn’t give up..increased the number of sets
Best of 5 sets: we lost
Still didn’t give up…we increased it to 7
Best of 7 sets: we lost again
But were happy…we got silver medal!!!hehehehe

It was 8.30

We had to get going..coz there was still dinner left….
After getting fresh we left…it was 9.00

I took the car(after sum convincing done to my mom)….
Bike was on as usual…(mohit demanded 10 bucks each..for petrol)

I parked the car..in front of a noparking gate..i had no other option…we had to hurry

We dined at pritam da dhaba..a fairly plush restaurant….
Chande called in..he was cumin too…
He met us at pritam….
We were running half an hour off schedule….
And we were still ordering food
We requested yogesh to go and reort at the theatre..
He agreed after much pursuation..
But he needed mohits bike…. we messed up cozs mohits helmet was in my car!!!
So we decided well leave together…
We hogged like afghan starved people…taking no account of pile up of bill!!!
It was a huge shock….1500…
We were again 500 bucks off our estimation..we still had to pay for our tickets!!!

We managed to pile up money sum how!!!!
Wat to do of 500 bucks..going to my place..was off the cards..
I decided to ask a frend of mine”tanmay”(hugely famous in my class)
To get us 500 bucks!!!his place was on the way..so it was manageable….
Mohit and kk got on bike..and left ahead of us….
We followed in the car…
I drove like Schumacher….making cuts..changing lanes….almost hitting other cars,people etc…
We had to get there in time..it was 10.05 already..
The road till sion was covered in around..8 minutes…
AND THEN!!!!


FUCKED UP AT SION BRIDGE!!!
Bloody bumper to bumper traffic man..
It was just so cramped up..
I managed to get ahead sumhow…
I was driving as if my survival depended on it man!!!
But it was just not possible for even an ultimate driver like me to get past….unless ofcourse my car could fly!!!!
Thankfully to mohits biking skills he reached there almost at 10.30..if not for mohit we would not ave even the slightest hopes of getting to the theatre on time.....though mohit is a good rider..carrying kk on the back and fighting the worst ever traffic jam is not an easy task....mohit managed some how....
We reached there 15 minutes later than mohit.....
It was 10.45
And yaaa’
It was TOO LATE!!
All tickets sold off..
No bookings left…………..we hoped for last minute miracle cancellations..but it was like hoping Shawn failed in toefl test!!!!

We didn’t mange the movie…for which we had spent the whole day….
18 hrs almost…….18 hrsssss………..

Dhulla said” God has scripted this entire day…..each of our minute and second….he must be lafing like hell there……ill surely tell my kids about it…..bhagwan ne humlogon ko ch*t*ya banaya….”lets write a letter to rgv…we struggled so much for his film…and still cudnt watch it..die hard fans…”
Baxi” dude even he’ll laff….kaise ch*t*ya log hai..meri film dekhne ko itnaa maraya”

Disappointed we got into the car and left…
That’s wat we got of the whole day……it was hell of a adventure here.. that was more than we could handle in a single day..it was enufff!!!

WAIT!!!!

DID I SAY SINGLE DAY???
DID I SAY IT WAS ENUFFF???


Hell no it wasn’t…god wanted us to feel more miserable…

Mohit was fed up to the limit…..he left….without telling us..
But that created more problem..only 5 ppl cud fit in the car ….
Wat to do of the doggy kk???
He decided to call up mohit..
And he called up wrong number 3 times….
He suddenly started seeing 3 mohits in his contact list…..
Kk”yaar mereko shayad bhaari neend aa raha hai..i am suddenly seeing 3 mohits here man..”
Baxi called up then….mohit was waiting outside the theatre….we had got him wrong..lolzzz

we left kk with mohit and asked them to get to my place…
we finally were feeling relaxed that atlast we are going home…

then…kk called up!!!!
They ahd taken the wrong road at gone to vikhroli..the idiots…...mohit proposed to leave kk at vikhroli station…
Kk got scared….he said ”station band rahega yaar abhi….i thought..i was so drowsy that like I had seen 3 mohits in my contact list I was seeing the sion board as vikhroli ..please lets go back at priyanks place”

Lolzzzzzzzzz
That was the final nail in the coffin of our totally disastrous day!!!!

Those guys came back…..we waited at ruia katta for them…they came…after 15 minutes…
We recalled entire days events…wat had we done to get so badly burnt asses my our own hands..
We felt like complete losers….
We hoped we could die there itself…..
The night was calm….quite…serene…we chatted long….we laughed
We lay down on the katta…
The breeze was cold….
The grass smelled sweet
BUT WAITTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT WAS THAT SMELLLL AGAIN!!!!!THE ONLY THING THAT HAD BEEN WITH US THROUGH OUT THE DAY!!!!

Mohit “kaun chodaaa”!!!!!!!

THE DITCHERS!!!!

” BUSHY DAM…7 km”
I read aloud on a milestone. It was a rainy day in lonavla and we were on our way to bushy dam.
The bakwaas gang was on another of its clumsily planned tours for a short “tired-of-lectures” vacation during the working week.We had landed in lonavala on the same day by a rather adventurous ride on a Tavera..whose driver was a pretty impressive rider with a khatri judgement which ultimately led to a overtaking on the side of a huge truck missing our car mirror by 0.2 inches.He safely dropped us at lonavala market at 10.00 am. We booked up at Hotel Lonavala.2 rooms for 9 people.We were reasonable people.

We had heard that the Bushy dam was awesome during the rains and yaa there were good chicks around there that time as well. So we decided to make it our first tourist spot.

“yaar its quite far re”Priyank

“Arre chalke jayega yaar priyank….majja aayega” Baxi

“Ghanta chalke jayega itnaa…7 km…too much man” kk

“kk…yeh dekh cyclewala……cycle se jayenge”Priyank

“chal chal…we’ll ride our way to the bushyyyyy”kk

“cycle ka bhada kitna hai boss”I asked to the cyclewala

“30 bucks…100 rs deposit….Id card lagega”

“id toh nahi hai..aise hi de do naa”kk

“no…id ke bina nahi milega”cyclewala

“Shit yaar …ab we have no other option kk..we’ll have to go walking”

So we started our trek…..
All the nine of us..i.e Me,Chande,Bhalu,Baxi,Anna,Mohit,KK,Bhagu and Rishi walked all the way to the damn dam…

As rishi was the most trust worthy person of all the members of the gang ..we had kept all the cash with him….

After much hardships and unnecessary wetting in every waterfall that we came across on the road, we reached the Bushy Dam.Thankfully there were chicks…I would have personally drowned Baxi and co in the dam if there weren’t any good girls to look at after that long 7 km walk…
We ordered vadapavs and chai on the dam.
It felt good having the food and drinks brought up to yu on the dam where yu sat at the highest point watcing all the MANDAKINIS getting wet…..it was paisa vasool treat..

After spending about an hour there we decided it was time to get off.. we had spent enough time observing the particular girl in pink and she was leaving now..
We got off the dam and started on our way back…

About 100 feet away from the dam our group split ..not out of compulsion..but out of the difference between of slow coaches and fast walkers…

I,baxi,mohit and kk….were the ones who had their speedometers at a higher mark then the rest…we went on ahead….the difference between the rest of the group was about 70 feet


Anna” yeah baxi ,mohit ,kk and darinda kidhar hai??”

Rishi” arre aage gaye hai yaar”

Chande”ohh….sun yaar rick pakadte hai..woh dekh khada hai wahan pe”

“Boss, Hotel lonavla jaane ka kitna”

“60 rs”

“itnaa jyaaada????????…nahi yaar nahi jaaneka hai”bhalu

“kasamse…..itne mein wapas Mumbai pahoch sakta hai”chande

They gave up the thought of taking the rickshaw….

When suddenly “the 1450 Gre score” realized….
.anna ” arre 60 rs yaane it comes to 12 rs per person yaa..thats quite affordable man..”

Bhaggu” haan yaar”

Chande” chal chal pakad”

All the 5 of them got into the rick…..

Till this point no one….absolutely no one had realized that there were still the 4 great members of the gang who had gone ahead of them….

………………………………………

I stopped and looked back” arre yeah log kahaan mar gaye hai re..are we walking too fast”????

Baxi” arre nahi re…who susti log hai..aaram se chalke aayenge”

Mohit” lets wait here yaar….they’ll catch up with us in a while”


We sat on the rock there….opposite of us a milestone read “LONAVLA MARKET ….7 KM”

Just then….there was a sound like a deformed engine…..

TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR………RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR………..RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


I saw a hand waving at me…through a rick ….it was black….it was bhaguus…
And then came out 4 more hands…..
As the rick passed by they roared “BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

KK’s vision followed the rickshaws track…

Consequently his mouth followed his vision
“MMMMAA*****D********RRRRRRRRRRRR******CCCCCCCCC****DDDDDDDDDDD”
.
KK was in shock ….
Baxi looked stunned
Mohit gasped
I had no clue…


The guys had left off in a rick……and instead of offering us a lift ..they were teasingly waving at us…
BACKSTABBING BASTARDS

“saale rick leke nikal gaye”mohit
“chal apan bhi jaate hain” kk
Abbe paisa rishi ke pass hai… we dun have any money”baxi


What the fuck…
It meant we had to walk all the 7 km again…that was impossible
But we had no other choice….
We had no money…no cell phones to call the guys in the rick as we had left them in the hotel.

We were stranded in the middle of nowhere…..
But there was little we could do…
We had to walk…

…………………………………………………………………….

In the rick ….

“Abbe apane rickshaw rukaya kyun nahi????” rishi

“abbe haan yaar…hehehehehehe” sumit

“arre call kar who logon ko”anna

“abbe ..phone toh hotel main hain”chande

“hug diya”bhaggu..

Between all this conversation that they had not even one of them was bright enough to actually stop the rickshaw some distance away from us..they kept on discussing why they hadn’t stopped for us…the jerks…..

……………………………………………………………………………….

I ,baxi, kk and mohit…walked all 7 km and finally reached the hotel….

I had developed rashes on my legs…kk s mouth was affected badly as it was being subjected to only abuses for the entire 7 km…Baxis legs were sore…Mohit slept off…

The guys had put up a “how-sorry-we-felt “ act after we came back….but we were too tired to even argue…fuck them…the pic below depicts how hugely grieved they were when they left us of in the middle of a perfectly deserted road.






………………………………………………………………………………………

We had never walked so much in our entire life…14 km ….on a wet rainy day ..on a slippery hilly road with

memories of the bloody ditchers who we called our
“ BEST BUDDIES”.........